Simple steps leading to less conflict with your child

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Posted on: 4th June, 2014

Category: Health & Lifestyle

Contributor: West Cork People

By Karen Minihan

I had seen the posters advertising ‘Parent Plus, Ages 6-12’, hanging around the village for a while. Although I had thought it would be a good idea to attend a parenting course, I never took the step of making enquiries or, more daunting still, booking in. Then the small note arrived in the school bag. I read it a few times and put it aside. The night before the course was due to start I came across it again and thought I’d not bother going, we’d be fine.

Why did I even consider it? Because I was tired of the same arguments, silly things about going to school or helping out at home, the storming out, raised voices, that sort of thing. Not desperately bad behaviour, but very tiring for me. And what would the communication be like in my children’s teenage years if this was the way things were now? As they became more confident and knowing?

So I went on the first Monday morning in March and I knew five of the six other women in the course and one of the two facilitators. Seven parents in total, striving to find strategies to deal with our relationships with our children for two hours a week over eight sessions.

During that time we were given a booklet and watched some very helpful videos of parents handling situations. We also had homework to do, implementing ideas and noting any changes in the interactions between ourselves and the members of the family.

Central to the process was the discussion between us about our situations and sharing our own experiences. It is a space to raise what you are comfortable with sharing, sometimes looking at specific issues that arise. Especially important is that there is no judgement on our way of being a parent, there is respect for each person within the group. It was immediately accepted that each person  and family has their unique way of organising their family life and that a parent is the one who knows their child intimately.

Linking in, with other mothers in particular, was an enormous help to me in the early days of my children’s lives. This applied here too. What was common between us was the love we had for our children and the need to find strategies to deal with the tensions of life.

That is what the course brought to me, simple steps to take when situations arise. One such step was ‘pressing the pause button’, stopping before I react to a situation, becoming calmer and not becoming involved in emotions as I face an issue. Consequently, I address it in a better frame of mind.

Actually, the central message for me was to look after myself. If you, as the Mum or Dad can be as well in your mind and body and as calm as you can be then you are more likely to avoid ratcheting up the energy of a dispute and then follow the other steps that are suggested within the course.

These steps have made a huge impact on my family. I see my children responding in a different way, having skills that will serve them well in school and beyond.

I think you have to be brave to take the first step. As the saying goes, there is no manual when you bring children into the world. Living in this fast-moving pace of life it is fantastic to find caring support.

It is  the HSE that runs and sponsors this  fantastic programme for a nominal fee of up to €5. The courses cover Ages 0-6, 6-12 and for Teenagers 12 plus and are held all over the West Cork area.

 

For any enquiries contact:

Bantry & Mizen: Contact West Cork Development Partnership at (027) 52266

Beara: The Caha Centre

(027) 60909

Skibbereen: Family Resource Centre (028) 23572

Dunmanway: Family Resource Centre (023) 8856 818

Clonakilty: Traveller Centre (023) 8835039

www.parentsplus.ie

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email bandonwalledtown@gmail.com
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Submarines, American Sailors, and the Underwater War in Irish Waters, 1917-1918
by Dr John Borgonovo in The Parish Centre, Clonakilty
on Thursday Oct 26 2017 at 8.30 pm

In 1917, unrestricted submarine warfare by German U-boats brought the United States into WWI and created a crisis in Britain. To defeat the submarine menace, an American naval fleet was dispatched to County Cork, bringing about 10,000 sailors with it. This talk will explain the circumstances of this extraordinary event, and how Cork residents dealt with their unexpected American guests.

Dr John Borgonovo is a lecturer in the School of History at UCC. His publications include Spies, Informers, and the 'Anti-Sinn Féin' Society: The Intelligence War in Cork City, 1920-1921; The Dynamics of War and Revolution: Cork City, 1916-1918; Exercising a close vigilance over their daughters: Cork women, American sailors, and Catholic vigilantes, 1917-18; Something in the Nature of a Massacre: The Bandon Valley Killings Revisited (with Andy Bielenberg). His latest publication (with co-authors John Crowley, Donal Ó Drisceoil and Mike Murphy) is the highly acclaimed and magnificient Atlas of the Irish Revolution. In July of this year, he organised a very successful conference on Winning the Western Approaches - Unrestricted Submarine Warfare and the US Navy in Ireland 1917-1918.
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11th October, 2017  ·  

Apple Juicing Day in Clonakilty next Sunday Sept 30th. All welcome to bring their apples from 2-6pm to the Clonakilty Community Garden (on entrance road to Clonakilty Lodge).

Building on the success of its inaugural 2016 event, local voluntary environmental organisation Sustainable Clonakilty invites people to bring along their apples and press them to extract their own juice to take home, using the group's Apple Press.

Volunteers will be at hand to assist in the procedure. Bring along your apples washed; clean containers to freeze your juice (milk/juice bottles or cartons, plastic bottles with caps); clean, sterilised glass bottles to pasteurise with swing caps or suitable for 26 mm diameter metal cap.

A limited number of new 3 litres juice bags that are suitable for freezing and pasteurising, can be purchased for a nominal fee on the day also.

This is a free community event and donations will be welcome to cover costs.

For further information, please contact Xavier at xavierdubuisson@gmail.com or text at 086/0476124.
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