Anna Healy is a life and business coach based in West Cork. She is available for consultations by appointment. Phone Anna on 087-2427848 www.annahealy.ie
While speaking to a friend recently, she told me that she knew a lot of professional mothers who are feeling burnt out, browned off and crying out to try something new but not sure how to take the next step. This statement caused me to reflect, why has this happened? How did we get to here? How is it that so many competent people, experienced professionals have lost their way?
Becoming a parent is a life changing experience; your identity changes, your responsibility increases and your attention is diverted. Your focus shifts from your needs to the needs of others. A lot of the decisions made are for the benefit of the children or the family and there is a chance that you can get lost in the middle of it all.
But this state of frustration doesn’t have to be all because of the kids; as we grow through different stages of our lives it is normal to have a desire to try different things and to expand our horizon.
So how do you get back on track? How can you move from browned off to inspired?
Get to know yourself again, find out what is important to you – you might find that what was important to you in the past is no longer top of the list.
What are three things that I am proud of right now? What three things add to your happiness? What are three things that I am grateful for?
Review you personal plans; get some clarity about where you are and where you want to be. Here are a few questions to get you thinking:
If I won the lotto in the morning what would I do? What is the one thing that I would like to change about my life? Visualise where you would like to be in a year’s time, what would it feel like?
Once you are clearer about your goal, opportunities start cropping up in places that you would never have thought of.
Do something for you, just you. You have spent the majority of your time doing things for other people, allow yourself a little bit of time to focus on what you would like to do. This doesn’t have to be expensive or interfere greatly with the routine of the day – if the children are in school why not attend a class locally, such as fitness class, education or wellness. If you like to read, try the library.
Don’t discount everything that you have done in the past, you are an older wiser better version of yourself right now, you have gained so much knowledge and experience in the past, which will help you achieve your next goal. Make a list of what you are good at and keep adding to them as you notice things.
Being burned out or browned off is not the end for you, it is a sign that you are ready for the next stage of your life, you are ready to break through and take the next step to the future of your dreams.
“Our passions are the true phoenixes; when the old one is burnt out, a new one arises from its ashes” Johann Wolfgang Van Goethe